Infamy is not all it’s cracked up to be…

Within the sub-field of academia I’m in, I am somewhat infamous. And I mean that in the way it’s intended: a little bit famous, and not in a very positive way. It’s a long story, and not actually terribly interesting or scandalous. Basically, I wrote a paper which a lot of people read, and it turned out to be wrong.

For the most part, this doesn’t come up a lot, and doesn’t bother me. But lately there is this website — kind of blog/wiki thing — on which (among other topics) people who don’t know very much spend a lot of time saying bad things about me. This includes both semi-factual statements about what occurred, plus a lot of personal attacks, which range from sort of mean to very mean to wildly inappropriate.

This makes me feel terrible. I know it is crazy, becuase these are just horrible, small-minded people and, overall, I am really, really happy. I have a job that I love doing, and a fair amount of job security, and (much more importantly) a husband I adore who seems to like me a lot also. But I somehow have a very hard time keeping it in perspective.  I feel like there are all of these people out there who just wish I would die or something. 

I am trying very hard not to read this website. For some reason, however, that seems to be really difficult. It’s taking an enormous amount of self-control. It’s like I have OCD about this particular website.

Obviously this is unrelated to sewing, but I just needed to write it down.



  1. Jenna said

    Hmm. This is pretty awful. I do not want to know where this thing is, because I would also not be able to stay away from it. You have to totally forget it exists, like celebrities have to do with TMZ or whatever. Otherwise you will go crazy and also feel bad about yourself for no reason.

  2. Jen said

    I concur – I would have to go read it, and then I would probably feel compelled to comment, and I would start a flame war, and it would be bad.

    I’m sorry that people are retarded though. I am still confused why people would be MEAN about this – I mean, there was new info, you admitted that this new info meant the paper was wrong, the end. Anyone who is being a jerk about it is obviously bored, and also ill-informed.

    Also you are super smart, and creative, and people can suck it.

  3. Jane said

    Remember that, though we are bombarded with this idea that our lives are just what we do to justify a glowing resume and obituary in order to have justified our existence in this world, our lives really journeys with many trials, temptations, side trips, delays, dangers and joys along the way. That is is your past, and if you can get to the point where you have witty comebacks that show you as humble, joyful and getting on with your life, you will will. I would suggest that you not bring this up with anyone but your therapist or closes friends, and don’t bring it up constantly with your closest friends or they’ll wear thin. Try to focus on what is here and now and ahead. Most very successful people leave a trail of failures in their wakes. And, too much destruction in the world is related to people being unable or unwilling to admit that they made a mistake. That’s not you, and you are a leader for it.

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